I have a love/hate relationship with Lookbook.

      And I don't even have an account. Thing is, I love it because the looks and the people are so creative and fun to look at. The people are so inspiring, especially since I want to become a fashion journalist. But I hate Lookbook because I am so envious... Horribly envious. Of the 99% percentage of uber-thin girls that are so, so beautiful. And that's why it is my number 1 thinspo website.

      It seems so ironic to me, yet very fitting that I also want a certificate in feminism. Probably not the feminism you think, more about female body image of society throughout the years. I cannot picture myself as having an ED, at all, actually, because I have never been thin. Even at 118 lbs (5'2) I was chubby. I do constantly think about food, calories, exercising, fat, what I look like, etc. I do constantly feel absolutely horrible when I ate too much. It seems like it's all mental, and nothing is happening on the outside.

      Anyway, so today, I had a piece of toast with tofu spread, and then... two slices of pizza with fries. Gosh, kill me. I'll be hitting the gym like, ASAP. I'll probably have no choice but to eat after the gym, which sucks. I have to because I goddamn have hypoglycemia. (you get really dizzy and weak within like 2 minutes because your sugar is too low). I'll try just chugging on some orange juice, maybe that'll help instead...

      So yeah, I'll be going to the gym now !! I'll do my usual routine, maybe I will post it with the calories burnt when I come back.

               -Abigail xox