Tuesday, September 20, 2011


But plans make me want to not follow them. Plans make me feel like I miss out on the fun impulses bring to my life. Plans scare the shit out of me because I have to say no. I am so immature. Wishing and dreaming without acting.

But tomorrow is a new day. I want to do this right.

On another note, I don’t know what to do with myself. My father has stopped paying for me and my little sister (my parents are seperated) but we have kept contact… a bit. Anyway the whole story is very complicated. Now I have to decide if I face legal aid which is free for me because I’m 18 and a student. I am wondering if I should really bring my dad to court. But he is a manipulator, punishing us for not working for him by not paying pension.

And I feel like a cow. Raped by fat.

Please let me control at least my body.

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