But plans make me want to not follow them. Plans make me feel like I miss out on the fun impulses bring to my life. Plans scare the shit out of me because I have to say no. I am so immature. Wishing and dreaming without acting.
But tomorrow is a new day. I want to do this right.
On another note, I don’t know what to do with myself. My father has stopped paying for me and my little sister (my parents are seperated) but we have kept contact… a bit. Anyway the whole story is very complicated. Now I have to decide if I face legal aid which is free for me because I’m 18 and a student. I am wondering if I should really bring my dad to court. But he is a manipulator, punishing us for not working for him by not paying pension.
And I feel like a cow. Raped by fat.
Please let me control at least my body.